Navigating Divorce Without Losing Yourself:
Stress Management Tips
Going through a divorce can feel like your world is upside down. From emotional ups and downs to major life decisions, the stress can be overwhelming. In this article, we share actionable strategies to help you maintain control and make thoughtful choices as you move through the divorce process.
• Divorce is not a single event; it is a process. Divorce is more than simply declaring that your marriage is over, it is a multi-step gradual transition that is not always linear. Be patient with yourself and your emotional recovery. There will be setbacks, obstacles, or unexpected things that come about. Give yourself the space and permission to experience your emotions and work through problems as they arise. There is no such thing as a “perfect” divorce, so be patient with the process and gentle with yourself.
• Prioritize your physical health. Stress affects both your mental and your physical health. Eating nutritious meals, getting enough sleep, staying hydrated, and maintaining a routine for physical activity, even if only for short walks, will help reduce the negative impacts of stress on your physical and mental well-being. You will find that there are many things outside of your control during this process. You can’t control your ex or each and every outcome of your divorce. Maintaining a healthy routine is one aspect of your life that can provide you with consistent autonomy and predictability.
• Avoid making any major, irreversible life decisions too quickly. The automatic temporary injunction in place during this process already prohibits you from transferring or liquidating substantial funds without consent of the other party. However, other large life decisions should also wait until you either have the finality of the divorce or have at least had time to fully consider the decision and the impact on your case. Because the division of property and determination of maintenance are usually somewhat tied to the status quo during the marriage, any substantial change in your income or employment, your geographic location/residence, or the available assets and/or debts, will all complicate your divorce and could delay its completion. Certain life changes at this time are inevitable, but you will be able to make a more informed decision as to the feasibility and impact of certain life decisions after the divorce is finalized. Once final orders are issued, you will no longer have to worry about disclosing information to or seeking consent from the other party to proceed as you wish.
• Establish your support network. Stay connected to your friends and family and avoid isolation. Whether it is friends, family, or a therapist, make sure you have someone to be a sounding board. Make sure you have someone to call if you are ever feeling down or have some sort of emergency. You will need to find community to provide the type of emotional, financial, and/or logistical support you used to be able to rely on your spouse to provide.
• Limit contact or step away when you feel especially emotional. Do not engage in communication with your ex when you are in a reactive state. It is normally advisable to communicate through your attorneys regarding your case, but in some situations, you may have some direct contact for purposes of day-to-day or child-related matters. If you receive communication that instantly raises your blood pressure, it is best to step away and avoid responding immediately. Take time to cool off and think of thoughtful, reasonable, and well-mannered response to avoid them being used negatively against you in court.
• Monitor your substance use and seek treatment if alcohol or drugs are becoming a problem. The divorce process can bring on situational stress that many people try to handle by consuming alcohol or other intoxicating substances.
• Set reasonable boundaries. Protect your peace by refusing to rehash old arguments or unproductive conversations, and not seeking closure from the other person.
• Reconnect with yourself- discover or rediscover interests and hobbies. It is likely you have abandoned an old hobby or two during your relationship. Whether it is reading, art, sports, travel, cooking, volunteering, or any other activity you previously enjoyed or have been interested in trying out, this is a great opportunity to dedicate time to a new interest outside of your litigation. Having a creative outlet or positive goal to focus on can be a constructive use of your time and a good distraction from the stressors of divorce. If you have kids, adding in new hobbies can fill the time they are with their other parent when you would normally be caring for them. If age-appropriate, you could introduce your child to the activity as a way to bond and spend quality time together, as well.
• Visualize what you want for your future. Think about what your ideal future looks like after the divorce is all done. Set intentions and goals to look forward to and motivate you to get through the process and come out on the other side. Picture the possibilities that will open up for you and what you will no longer need to worry about as soon as the decree is entered and the dust has settled. Will you take that job? Retire? Travel more? Move to a new city? Invest in something for yourself? Start that new project? Focus on your community and relationships? It is easy to get angry about what you are losing in a divorce, so it crucial to remember that there are also positive aspects of entering into this new chapter of life and opportunities that will open up for you post-divorce.
WE’RE HERE FOR You
If you are considering pursuing divorce, it is important to understand your rights and responsibilities under the law. At Brown Carrington, PLLC, we care.
Contact us today to schedule a consultation with one of our experienced attorneys to discuss the details of your case and determine your best path forward.
Written by: Kirsten Etre
Kirsten is a dedicated attorney newly licensed to practice law, bringing a wealth of practical experience across various legal domains. Her professional journey began with multiple roles in legal support, encompassing criminal law, civil litigation, family law, personal injury, and dependency and neglect proceedings. These positions, held both before and during her law school tenure, provided Kirsten with invaluable hands-on experience that profoundly informs her approach as an attorney.
Learn more about Kirsten here.
Edited by: Catherine Pierce
Request A Consultation
Submitting your information does not create an attorney-client relationship.
DISCLAIMER
THE INFORMATION PROVIDED IN THIS POST IS FOR GENERAL INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND DOES NOT CONSTITUTE LEGAL ADVICE. LAWS AND REGULATIONS VARY BY STATE, COUNTY, AND SPECIFIC CIRCUMSTANCES OF YOUR MATTER, AND THE INFORMATION PRESENTED HERE MAY NOT APPLY TO YOUR PARTICULAR SITUATION. ALWAYS CONSULT WITH A QUALIFIED FAMILY LAW ATTORNEY TO OBTAIN ADVICE TAILORED TO YOUR INDIVIDUAL CIRCUMSTANCES. REVIEWING THIS BLOG POST DOES NOT CREATE AN ATTORNEY-CLIENT RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN YOU AND THE AUTHOR, PUBLISHER, BARROW BROWN CARRINGTON, PLLC OR ITS ATTORNEYS. THE AUTHOR AND PUBLISHER ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY ACTIONS TAKEN BASED ON THE INFORMATION PROVIDED IN THIS BLOG POST.
IF YOU HAVE LEGAL QUESTIONS PLEASE CONTACT OUR OFFICES DIRECTLY FOR A CONSULTATION IN COLORADO, FLORIDA, INDIANA, KENTUCKY, OR OHIO.