Talking to Your Family Law Attorney:
Tips for Clear, Productive Communication
Navigating a family law matter is often one of the most emotional and stressful periods of a person’s life. While your attorney is your guide and advocate through the complex legal process, the success of your case relies heavily on a strong, productive partnership built upon effective communication.
This article will provide practical, actionable tips to help you communicate clearly, efficiently,
and professionally with your family law attorney:
1. Use a private email address only you can access. All communications between an attorney and client are confidential and protected. To maintain attorney-client privilege, no other people should have access to your email communications. If you allow others to access and view your communications with your attorney, the protections may be waived. If you are afraid of your spouse or co-parent intercepting or overhearing communications because you live at the same address or share access to phones/emails, it is important you let your attorney know right away, so they can make a note in your file and take extra measures to protect the privacy and confidentiality of your communications.
2. Consider your goals and what objectives you wish to achieve. Your attorney is looking out for your best interests and wants you to be as satisfied with their representation as possible. While your counsel can help you identify some potential outcomes to help you refine your goals, providing them with your top priorities and concerns will help them serve you and your interests better. You know what is most important in your own life, so your input is necessary to advocate for final orders you will be satisfied with. To assess the likelihood of achieving your goals under the law, your attorney first needs to know what those goals are.
3. Come up with a list of questions you have and write them down. Hold onto that list until the end of your consultation or meeting, and do not hesitate to ask any questions you have that were not answered at the end of the meeting. Your attorney will most likely direct the conversation to what is legally relevant, so saving your questions until the end will ensure they can gather the information they will need for filing purposes before you get into other matters. You may ask clarifying questions throughout the meeting if you are unclear on what the attorney is telling you, but staying on topic will maximize the efficiency of your meeting.
4. Be Honest. It is crucial to tell your attorney everything that may be relevant regardless of whether it is helpful or harmful to your case. Almost all attorney-client communications are confidential, so you do not need to worry about your attorney revealing the contents of your discussions unless there is an extremely limited exception. However, as the client, you hold the privilege and are the only individual who can waive that protection. Your attorney’s role is to assess the facts and available evidence to determine the most favorable way to present your case, not to judge you. Your attorney will be most effective in representing you if they are aware of all the information that could potentially be revealed, even if it is damaging to you. If your attorney is aware of potentially harmful information, they can plan a strategy to mitigate the negative impact of that information if it is brought up during the case. If your counsel is blind-sided by assertions they knew nothing about beforehand, they will be less able to come up with a course of action for responding that paints you in the best light and does not conflict with your prior factual assertions or the overall narrative being presented.
5. Stay Organized. Organizing the documents and information you provide to your attorneys and saving them with helpful titles will reduce the time needed to review and create an inventory of the documents.
It is most helpful when file names include dates, the source/entity of the document, and a description of the document or the relevant information provided by the document. Categorizing documents into different sub-folders may also be helpful so long as there are not too many separate folders to navigate through.
6. Be intentional with your communication. Sending information and questions to your attorney in several different emails will increase the likelihood of something being missed. To the extent it is reasonable, we recommend combining your questions and concerns throughout the day or week (depending on the urgency) into one email with bulleted points, or scheduling a call indicating the specific things you would like to discuss when scheduling. Less frequent and comprehensive communication is often preferable to constant piece-meal messages. It will reduce the amount of time your attorney needs to spend reviewing your communications to be sure they respond to all of your points if they are all in a single email. In this day and age, we are all constantly getting flooded with electronic communications all day every day, so any efforts to reduce clutter in our email inboxes will always be appreciated.
7. Do not hesitate to ask for clarification of information, request advice on any major decisions, or provide general updates to your attorney. Because in most states there are limitations on your use of marital assets and an ongoing duty to disclose current financial information during the divorce process, your attorney will likely need to communicate with opposing counsel if any of your general circumstances change. This includes changing employment, buying or selling any property of substantial value, liquidating funds for any purpose, changing the division or payment of shared expenses, or almost anything else that comes up that will have any substantial impact on the overall value of the marital estate or the financial circumstances of either or both parties. If you are unsure whether or not you should consult with or update your attorney, it is probably best to reach out to them just in case.
8. Set realistic expectations. Your attorney will do everything in their power to advocate for you, but please be aware that there is only so much that is within their control, and you will always come out of
a divorce with less than what you had during the marriage. This is simply the reality of judges being provided with generally broad discretion in family law cases and trying to stretch the financial resources
of the marriage across two households instead of one. It is, therefore, necessary to remember that your attorney has no control over what the other party or their counsel does and can only sway the Court’s opinion to a certain extent. Your attorney cannot change the facts in your case or the law that applies,
they can only work within the bounds of the law and with the admissible evidence they have available. Your attorney can advise whether a certain result is more or less likely to occur, but no specific result
can be guaranteed.
9. Be patient, but not passive. Think about what your ideal future looks like after the divorce is all done. Set intentions and goals to look forward to and motivate you to get through the process and come out on the other side. Picture the possibilities that will open up for you and what you will no longer need to worry about as soon as the decree is entered and the dust has settled. Will you take that job? Retire? Travel more? Move to a new city? Invest in something for yourself? Start that new project? Focus on your community and relationships? It is easy to get angry about what you are losing in a divorce, so it crucial to remember that there are also positive aspects of entering into this new chapter of life and opportunities that will open up for you post-divorce.
YOUR NEXT STEP STARTS HERE
At Brown Carrington, PLLC, we care. Contact us today to schedule a consultation with one of our experienced family law attorneys to discuss the details of your case and determine your best path forward.
Written by: Kirsten Etre
Kirsten is a dedicated attorney newly licensed to practice law, bringing a wealth of practical experience across various legal domains. Her professional journey began with multiple roles in legal support, encompassing criminal law, civil litigation, family law, personal injury, and dependency and neglect proceedings. These positions, held both before and during her law school tenure, provided Kirsten with invaluable hands-on experience that profoundly informs her approach as an attorney.
Learn more about Kirsten here.
Edited by: Catherine Pierce
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THE INFORMATION PROVIDED IN THIS POST IS FOR GENERAL INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND DOES NOT CONSTITUTE LEGAL ADVICE. LAWS AND REGULATIONS VARY BY STATE, COUNTY, AND SPECIFIC CIRCUMSTANCES OF YOUR MATTER, AND THE INFORMATION PRESENTED HERE MAY NOT APPLY TO YOUR PARTICULAR SITUATION. ALWAYS CONSULT WITH A QUALIFIED FAMILY LAW ATTORNEY TO OBTAIN ADVICE TAILORED TO YOUR INDIVIDUAL CIRCUMSTANCES. REVIEWING THIS BLOG POST DOES NOT CREATE AN ATTORNEY-CLIENT RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN YOU AND THE AUTHOR, PUBLISHER, BARROW BROWN CARRINGTON, PLLC OR ITS ATTORNEYS. THE AUTHOR AND PUBLISHER ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY ACTIONS TAKEN BASED ON THE INFORMATION PROVIDED IN THIS BLOG POST.
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